How do you create your life the way that you desire it to be, rather than as a broken mirror of what the people around you are choosing?

Our lives are created by each choice, each action and each reaction that we take in each moment.

Do you ever find yourself restricting what you choose because you’re worried how somebody else might react?

They might get upset, or they might do or say something that you’d rather avoid.

In order to create your life the way that you desire it to be, you need to be willing to choose for you

Are you willing to choose from a place of awareness, not pre-supposing how other people might react? In order to truly create your life, you need to be willing to choose. To choose from the awareness of what is going to work for you, regardless of whatever the people around you are choosing.

Do you find yourself trying to second guess what the other person might do or say and only making your choice of action according to that? That way, you can feel more prepared and ready with how you are going to react to what they’ve not even done or said yet.

How’s that working out for you?

Stop trying to predict how they’re going to act

If you’ve already decided the other person is going to do or say something that you then have to react to, you are giving them control over you.

What are you afraid of? That you’ll have to deal with something that’s too much for you? Are you trying to avoid something?

When you are willing to do or be something different, then change can occur.

What could you do or be different?

Take back control of your life

As we’ve already established, the choices and actions you take moment by moment create your life.

Instead of concerning yourself with how the other person is going to act:

1. Be in your awareness.
2. Choose what works for you in your life
3. Trust that whatever shows up, you can handle it.

Get into Action (and out of re-action)

What is action?

Action is when you start asking a question.

What do you want to choose and what do you really want to create?

Any time you’ve decided that you “have” to have something, it becomes a necessity in your life. This necessity is where you’re functioning from reaction rather than action.

When you are willing to ask a question, this takes you out of reacting and into action.

From this space of action, you open up a greater possibility as your future.

No point of view

Taking action requires living with no point of view. No judgement of what the other person may or may not choose.

When you have no point of view about whether someone is going to get upset or not, they seldom do.

If you have the point of view they might get upset, then you will always create a reaction that allows them to get upset.

Want someone to do something in the way you think they should? This is where you are creating a reaction that you think will make them choose what you want them to choose.

That is also where you have gone to conclusion which closes down possibilities rather than staying in the question. When you are in question, you have more choice, awareness and flexibility of action.

So there are four great ways that you could use to create your life the way that you want it to be.

What actions can you take now to enjoy using them and starting to apply them in your life on a moment by moment basis?

When you are willing to take action in every moment of every day, no one can have control except you.

Remember: Anything that you are trying to avoid, controls you.

When you let go of “trying to avoid” then you are free from reaction and can have more of what truly allows you to create your life the way that you desire it to be.

This blog post was inspired by Simone Milasas’s podcast: The Art & Industry of Business & Living, which you can listen to here.