How many dates have you been on that were fabulous, amazing and totally enjoyable? Or is the reverse more often the case?
“Dating was a horrible experience for me,” Gary Douglas, the founder of Access Consciousness® acknowledged recently on the Voice America Empowerment Channel. “Everybody was always projecting and expecting what would happen or how it had to be.”
When somebody projects and expects that you’re going to be the perfect man for them, or the perfect woman, do they take into account whether they are perfect for you?
Or, are they simply trying to fit you into the Perfect Man suit — or the Perfect Woman suit — they have in their minds?
“They decide you’re going to be perfect for them,” Gary pointed out. “Whether you want to be it or not isn’t really relevant.”
Inevitably this leads to a sense of failure, because you haven’t accomplished what is projected at and expected of you, without even being told what you’re supposed to accomplish!
As Gary said, “If you project or expect something, it’s a great way to make sure you fail. Because if your projection or expectation doesn’t come through, then you do rejection, separation and judgment of you.”
No wonder dating is far from being a light, fun-filled adventure for so many.
Not long after he divorced, Gary went out on a date and later that night, while he was in the shower, found himself thinking, “Oh my god, she’s so beautiful and amazing. I wonder if we’ll have a house with a picket fence?”
He didn’t know her last name; he had never kissed her. But he was already deciding they would get married and have a house with a picket fence. When Gary realized he was projecting and expecting of others, he immediately stopped doing it.
Because there is an alternative — it’s choice. If you go out with somebody from projections and expectations then you assume a+b=c. That’s the Perfect Man or Perfect Woman suit.
If you go out with somebody from choice you can have a, b, d, 11 or z with no point of view.
Here’s a tool to use before going on your next date. Ask, “How many projections and expectations do I have about who this person is going to be?” Then you might see the person in front of you, instead of who you think they’re going to be.
Ask, “How many projections and expectations do I have about who this person is going to be?” Then you might see the person in front of you, instead of who you think they’re going to be.
We do projections and expectations in all areas of life. With our health and bodies, with our careers and money. Read Gary’s new book, Projections, Expectations, Separations, Judgments and Rejections for more!
You can tune in to the Access Consciousness Show on Voice America every Thursday at 2pm Pacific.
Missed a show? When you join the Pearls of Possibilities, you will receive the clearings and recorded processes from the show for only $10 a month. The more you listen to them, the deeper the clearings go. How does it get easier than that?