Have you ever stayed in a job for too long? Hung onto a relationship way past the time it was fun and expansive? Have you ever known you wanted to move but stayed in the same old house in the same old town even when it seemed to be draining energy from you?
Knowing when to leave and actually taking the action to do so can be difficult for most people. For one thing, many people believe that longevity is considered a good and noble target. What if it’s not though? Often,what longevity does is put people on autopilot and make them predictable and controllable: Thursday is movie or laundry or finance meeting day, Friday we meet at the club and Saturday is brunch with the Jones’. Do you notice that there is no room for anything new? No room for change? Have you become bored? Many of us have found ourselves in that situation, yet we are told that keeping the same job, working through all of the problems in your marriage, no matter what, and having friends for thirty years is something to be proud of and to work towards. With a belief like that in place, and no one to tell us that leaving is OK or even how to know when to leave, it’s no wonder that so many people stay in miserable or deadening situations long past when leaving might have created much more in their lives.
What if leaving anyone or anything wasn’t necessarily a bad thing? What if it was actually a sign that you were alive and changing and willing to embrace more in your life, no matter what anyone else thought? Access consciousness is all about empowering people to know what they know. This is very different from following the herd and from complying with belief systems that don’t really work. The rewards of allowing yourself to be aware of what really works and doesn’t work for you are very great indeed!
Asking questions is a crucial step to expanding our awareness.
Below are some examples of questions that can assist in creating greater awareness about a job, relationship or most anything else in your life.
Does the situation (job, marriage etc.) you are in support you in being you? This is particularly relevant for personal relationships whether friendships or partnerships. Support is allowing you to be who you are without judgment or a demand that you change yourself to fulfill their desires or meet the demands of another. If you are being constantly judged, then you may choose to change or leave the situation. Judgment is always destructive. It eats away at our beings and blocks out all awareness.
In business, support would look more like encouraging you to make use of your particular talents and abilities. A good employer is interested in what your unique contribution can be rather than putting you into a rigid role/position with little room for contribution or creation.
Are you excited? While we are each responsible for our happiness, a total lack or excitement can be a key that something in a job or relationship or some other part of your life needs to change. If you become aware that it’s time for something different, but you’re not sure what’s going on, you can ask these questions: “What is this?” “What can I do with it?” “Can it change?” “If so, how do I change it?” Some things are changeable and some aren’t. Being willing to know the difference can add more ease to your life.
Would you like a larger life? If the answer is “Yes!” then you can begin asking: “What can I add to my life?” Notice that this is not so much about leaving a particular situation as leaving a tiny life. When we add to our lives, we keep what’s working but augment it with any number of things like new people or interests or businesses or even energies.
There is one caveat about leaving that is worth mentioning. If you choose to leave a situation, it should also be done with an awareness of what’s next. If you have a job that you hate, but it’s paying your bills, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to quit without a financial plan in place. One way to being to make changes is to transition into something else. Suppose you are starting an Access Consciousness Facilitation business. If you are willing to keep the job that isn’t working for you until your Access business is able to pay your bills, you save yourself a lot of trouble!
Knowing when to leave and then acting on it takes awareness and courage. It can also assist you in creating a life that’s far greater than you ever imagined it could be!