Are you choosing based on what’s relevant to you or what’s relative to you? Choosing from what’s relevant to you is a way to step into more of you no matter what’s going on. What’s relevant to you and your life and living are those events things, people etc. that could have an effect on you or your life. For example, you own a stock and you find out it just went up fifty percent, you may choose to ask questions about selling it or holding it. If a person close to you dies, you may need to make arrangements, take care of paper work, or perhaps plan a funeral. Sometimes an awareness can indicate that there is something going on that is relevant to you. Gary once became aware that the amount of money he had in his account was “off”. He asked some questions and found out that the credit card company was holding over sixty thousand dollars because he hadn’t signed a form that had never been sent to him! This may all seem simple enough, and it would be if so many of us didn’t spend enormous amounts of time and energy making choices from what’s relative to us rather than what’s relevant to us.
“Choosing from what’s relevant to you is a way to step into more of you no matter what’s going on.”
When we are functioning from what’s relative to us, we are adjusting ourselves so we can adapt to other people’s realities, or belief systems or in some other way deny who we are in order to fit in with someone else or something else, when what’s going on is actually not relevant to us. One of the biggest reasons we do this is that we’re taught to believe that we should take care of others. This is based on this realities idea that people are victims and powerless and do not have choice or the power to create their lives. This is actually a lie, as well as a position of superiority. Suppose you talk with a friend or a family member and they have a great tale of trauma/drama to tell you. Do you believe you have to fix them? Have you decided that the problem they created is your problem? This is where you are choosing from the position of what’s relative to you. A great tool that you can always use if you are unsure of what’s going on is to ask: “Is this relevant to me?” If an energy comes up that is light then it is. (Tool from Access Consciousness – that which is light is true for you, that which is heavy is a lie for you. See Dr Dain explain light and heavy in this youtube video. If you ask the question and the energy is heavy, then you are probably acting out of what’s relative to you.
“When we are functioning from what’s relative to us [not relevant] we are adjusting ourselves so we can adapt to other people’s realities…”
Acting from what’s relative can show up in many other ways too. Suppose you are invited to a family reunion or a happy hour or you find out about a networking group. Instead of deciding what you are going to choose based on what you believe your family or friends or business would want you to do, ask the question: Is this relevant to me. If you get that it’s not, you can still choose to go anyway, but you would at least be going from a space of awareness rather than judgment that this was “the right thing to do”.
Unless we make a consciousness effort, many of us find that we go on a kind of autopilot and are constantly changing ourselves and using our energy to fit in with what’s relative to us, but not relevant to us. This can be as innocuous as “Well, I’m in Paris so I should go to the Eiffel Tower”, when you have no desire to go, or it can have devastating effects such as when a woman decides she is going to get married and have children because that is what she “should” do, when she has no desire for either.
The benefits of choosing to act from what’s relevant to us rather than from what’s relative to us are enormous. If you choose to do this, you may find that you have much more energy, your life works with more ease, you are happier, and you don’t have to feel trapped or bogged down by anything. Does this sound like something you might like to try? How freeing and fun could it be to act only form what’s relevant to you?
If you would like to know more about what it takes to choose and when you need to choose, click here to listen to the Voice America show.