After two failed marriages and facilitating thousands more in his clients worldwide, few people are as astute at describing how relationships go wrong than Gary Douglas, founder of Access Consciousness™ and best-selling author.

As Douglas has learned, while functioning from the immutable laws of this reality—the things we believe we cannot change no matter what—we function from obligation.

When it comes to male/female relationships, what that looks like is if a man takes you out to dinner, you are obligated to have sex with him. Is there a woman or man alive who hasn’t found themselves in this spider web of obligation?

When you get past the wining and dining stage, the pitfalls abound. Men are really simple, Douglas observes. “Whatever you say, they think, ‘Can we have sex now?’”

Though men think about sex more than women do, ironically, he observes, women are far more demanding for sex than men are. Women will demand it, while men will only ask for it.

Things get even stickier when women want sex and get upset when the man doesn’t demand it. Women often say, “I hate the fact that he won’t initiate sex.”

Women are reluctant to tell men what they want because their point of view is that men should just know. Women are actually expecting men to be more psychic than they are, even though in this reality it’s the women who are supposed to be intuitive. Women classically want the man to know what they want without having to give him a clue of what that might be.

These difficulties develop, says Douglas, because men have been taught that their job is to wait until they are asked to have sex. Men are always waiting for a woman to say, “Come here. Down boy.”

Women, on the other hand, want men to ask them but they don’t want men to know that. Does any of this sound familiar?

It’s a perfect example of the insanities and fantasies of this reality, observes Douglas. Even more ironically, we function from these fantasies and insanities of this reality as if they are true. Douglas calls this “the biggest lie we buy.”

If you’re getting depressed—don’t. The first step to changing anything is awareness. Even if it’s insanity, if you’re not aware you’re insane, you can’t change it. Douglas with his cutting wit is making his best effort to shake loose the cobwebs in our brain and in front of our eyes that keep us from seeing what’s really possible in relationships. We can only have what is possible by looking first at what is.

The Access Consciousness™ Core Classes have many tools to facilitate you in changing your relationships from insane to sane. Access Bars™, for example, the first of the core classes, open the doors to receiving in a way that has not been possible for most people previously. Many people have experienced major changes in their romantic and other relationships after taking only the 1-day Access Bars™ class. As Douglas says, the reason most relationships fail is that at least one of the partners is unable to receive.

More tools about relationships are included in Foundation, from which much of the information in this article was taken, and Level 1, which includes extensive material on relationships, intimacy and sex. Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer provide further information on these subjects when they facilitate Levels 2 and 3. Relationship is the special focus of a one day Being You in Relationship class Heer is presenting in Oslo, Norway, March 31.

Many more tools on relationships are included in the Access Consciousness™ core classes, as well as books by Douglas and his co-author and co-developer of Access Consciousness™, Dr. Dain Heer. These books include the recent Divorceless Relationship, Being You: Changing the World, and Sex Is Not A Four Letter Word But Relationships Often Times Is.

Could reading this article be your first step to a new reality in relationships? What if so much more were available for you in relationships than you ever imagined possible?