Relationship and dating advice are two topics that never seem to go out of style, and we have a theory why: no matter how advanced we become as a society, we’re still holding on to outdated Hollywood tropes around romance, prince charming and “the one.”
Enter: Brendon Watt and Simone Milasas, our resident relationship experts and co-authors of the book “Relationship: Are You Sure You Want One?”
Together, Brendon and Simone created a class called, Relationships Done Different, and started a movement with the target to create phenomenal relationships not just with others, but with ourselves! As Simone says, “If you are going to have a relationship, you may as well have a great one!”
The thing that makes Brendon and Simone so different is their “no sugar coating” advice. They may not be what you’re wanting to hear, but these relationship tips have the power to completely change your reality with relationships.
Whether you’re single, coupled up or somewhere in between, keep reading to start taking your love life from “eh” to EPIC.
Tip #1: Ditch the fairytales and fantasies
We’ve all been raised on fairytales and fantasies, thanks to storybooks and Hollywood films. Here’s the tough love: prince charming isn’t coming to save you, and “the one” isn’t going to sweep you off your feet.
Instead of waiting for someone else to give you the excitement and love you desire in your life, ask this question that Brendon Watt likes to use:
“What have I decided I need from others that I can’t give to myself?”
You are the only person you’ll spend the rest of your life with! A successful relationship starts with YOU. So what if you stopped waiting? Ditched the fairy tale and started creating a phenomenal relationship with you? I wonder what would show up?
Tip #2: Destroy and uncreate your relationship every day.
What if every single day was an opportunity to destroy your relationship and start over? We don’t mean break up the relationship! Instead let go of everything that your relationship was yesterday so you can start fresh. Let go of the limitations, the points of view and the judgments. This gets you to a place where you can choose from the present and not create from the past.
Tip #3: Don’t give yourself up.
What if you gave your partner the freedom to choose whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, without judgment? And what if you gave yourself the permission to do the same?
People often give up their favorite hobby or activity when they enter a new relationship, because their partner doesn’t like it. But what if you and your partner took time to do the things you love actually contributed more to your relationship?
If you let your partner choose to go and spend the day with friends or go for a surf like Brendon used to do, what kind of excitement and anticipation would that create for when you reunite at the end of the day?
Tip #4: Ask Questions – The most powerful tool!
Asking questions opens up an entirely different possibility. Here are three questions you can play with daily and see what shows up:
What am I grateful for with this person today?
Gratitude and judgement cannot coexist so in asking for what you are grateful for, you take yourself out of the wrongness and into what is possible! What if there was nothing wrong with you or your relationship?
If I where truly being me today, what would I choose?
For most of us when we finally get the relationship, we stop creating our life in order to maintain the relationship. We even stop doing things that where fun for us! Which eventually destroys the relationship. In asking this question you will keep creating you and doing things which are fun for you, which in turn, will expand everything you are creating including your relationship.
How much fun can we have in our relationship today?
Take the time everyday even if it’s just five minutes to do something fun together. After all, you started this relationship to have fun right?