Were you ever considered the problem child of your family?
As a little kid, if the only time your parents paid attention to you was when you fell down and hurt yourself or got sick, you may have learned to create problems in order to get close to others.
“A lot of you had to create a problem so you could have a way of being seen, heard and acknowledged,” founder of Access Consciousness® Gary Douglas pointed out recently.
“For many years I didn’t realize I was doing this,” Dr Dain Heer added. “If Gary and I seemed to have a separation or distance, I knew that if I created a problem and asked for his help, that would overcome the distance.”
Problems are an invented reality; they’re not truth. But for many people, proof of being in existence is having problems. Their reasoning goes something like this, “I have problems therefore I be and I do.” Because without problems would you have a reason to do anything?
From problems to possibility
We are so conditioned to looking at problems with everything in life, that building the muscle of possibility is going to take a bit of practice.
One of the go-to Access tools is to ask questions about everything from a space of no conclusions, which may not be our first response in negative situations.
Let’s say you got sick or lost your job. Most people will instantly form the conclusion that getting sick is awful and losing your job is bad — and then start asking questions. Using a question to try and get out of the problem you’ve already concluded exists, actually doesn’t work.
What points of view am I using to create this as a problem rather than a possibility?
As Dain pointed out, “Asking, What points of view am I using to create this as a problem rather than a possibility? will work because that’s an actual question.
“But you’ve actually got to do it and you may have to do it a few hundred times before you realize the possibility.”
Other questions to ask are: what’s right about this I’m not getting? What possibility could I have if I was willing to see it as a possibility?
To truly build the muscle of possibility, you’ve got to avoid the temptation of fixating on your problems.
“We fixate on a problem and think if we can find a solution to that problem then everything is going to turn out fine,” Gary explained.
The difficulty is that “everything is going to turn out fine,” is a conclusion, not a question. Gary added, “Do you want everything to turn out fine — or fabulous?”
This is from the Creative Edge of Consciousness Club. Would you love to be part of a club that is always changing, never boring and super fun? More here