Being You

What If YOU Are What You’ve Been Looking For?

September 16, 2016

What if you could create whatever you desire with sex and relationships? What if you could let go of all of the points of view that you have about relationships, what they should be, what they shouldn’t be, what’s the right way and what’s the wrong way and actually choose what works for you? Would that be more fun? More generative? More creative? Would that add to the quality of your life and living?

Creating more freedom in your world so that you can have infinite choice with relationship and sex starts with you. Yes, you! It’s not about fixing another person. It’s not about fixing a relationship. It’s about you choosing you.

The tools of Access Consciousness® can contribute to you greatly in creating a whole new possibility with relationships. In using the tools, you can find what actually works for you and discover that you are not wrong. It’s actually ok to be you and do what works for you.

One of the tools of Access Consciousness® that can dynamically assist in creating the relationship you desire is known as ‘the 5 elements of intimacy’. These elements include honor, trust, vulnerability, allowance and gratitude. When you function from these 5 elements in your life, everything changes and gets better; including your relationships.

Would you be willing to be the honor, the trust, the vulnerability, the allowance and the gratitude of you? Would you like to have the freedom that it brings?

Here’s more on each of the 5 elements and a tip on how to function from it in your life:


What if everything you did was an honoring of you? What if every choice you made was not just about the other people in your life, but also included you? When you choose to honor you, when you choose to include you in your life, you have access to more of the joy and ease of living.

Every day, you can ask, “If I were truly honoring me today, what would I choose?”

2. Trust

Do you trust you? Do you listen to what you know – no matter what? Or do you give up what you know because of the points of view of others? A great question you can ask to begin to trust you and your knowing is, “What do I know that I’m pretending not to know, or denying that I know, that if I acknowledged that I knew it would change everything?”

When you ask this question, don’t look for an answer. Just perceive the energy and choose to trust you and your knowing.

3. Vulnerability

To be vulnerable with you is to let down all walls and barriers and be the space of no judgment with you and with your body. What would that be like? We spend so much time judging ourselves and our bodies. What would change in your world if you stopped doing that?

A question you can ask to come out of the judgment of you is, “What’s right about me that I’m not getting?” When you ask this question, all the wrongness of you starts to fade and you can perceive the amazing gift that you are.

4. Allowance

Allowance is where everything is just an interesting point of view. Let’s say you wake up in the morning and think, “I should be more kind. I should be more caring. I don’t think I’m doing enough.” Whatever thoughts run through your mind, whatever conclusions you have about you, you can say, “Interesting point of view. I have that point of view.” Say this until things lighten up and it becomes just an interesting point of view rather than a fact.

5. Gratitude

Gratitude takes you out of the judgment of you. You can’t be grateful for you and judging you at the same time. Write down a list of things about you that you are grateful for – every day. Would you be willing to acknowledge the gift and the brilliance of you?

So how about it? Would you be willing to have the elements of intimacy with you? Would you be willing to give the gifts of honor, trust, vulnerability, allowance and gratitude to you?

When you choose to function from the 5 Elements of Intimacy with YOU, life becomes joyful. And, in this space, you can invite someone to come and play with you. In this space, your partner becomes an enjoyable other; someone who contributes to you, someone who creates with you. In this space, your relationship becomes a celebration rather than an obligation and something greater is created.

Want more? Here’s video on the 5 elements of Intimacy from Dr. Dain Heer

Curious for more? Dr. Dain is facilitating a special evening class, A Taste of Being Intimate With You, August 12th in Charleston, USA & Online! Learn more HERE.



Post a comment

author avatar

Tanya Davies

Aug 2, 2017

So true, so light, what if everyone had this capacity and made the choice to be that. How great could our world be? I sense this possibility in so many and experience moments of it always … if we can get this simply space of intimacy from a tree, nature or an animal why would it not be possible for us … to choose more of this with ease … always ? I believe heaven is here on earth and is just hiding behind unconsciousness … and choice! Waiting … What else is possible?

Post a comment