We all desire our kids to grow up empowered, happy and confident – but what do we actually mean when we say that? In this reality, we seem to believe that if we make sure children fit in socially and do well at school, they will be okay in life. Somehow their ability to be accepted by others and function according to what the current structures dictate is supposed to ensure success. And yet, in practice, it doesn’t actually seem to work.
What if you, empowering you, was the invitation and the change that every kid you care about truly requires?
What if empowering your kids meant something totally different from what you have been sold or told? What does it actually mean to empower kids, and what steps would be required?
Here are 3 myths about empowering kids, and what you can do different that will actually empower kids to be the leaders of their own lives and futures.
Myth 1: You as the parent/teacher/expert/adult must be in control.
When you were a kid, and people tried to control you, how much did you like that? Did it make life better for you? Or did it make you want to fight and rebel? The thing is that when we are fighting and rebelling, we are not actually choosing what might be in our best interest, we are just reacting against something. What if, instead of being the person in control, you were the person willing to be the conscious one? What does that mean exactly? Firstly, it means stepping up and being a leader in your own life, looking for the greatest possibility in everything, and not going to the limitation, wrongness, or judgment of anything or anyone (especially you!). It is the willingness to know what works for you and to follow that awareness (not to align with or react to anyone else). As you become the leader in your life, you become the invitation for kids to become that in their own lives.
Myth 2: Kids need to be taught everything, they don’t know a lot.
Kids are actually aware of far more around them than we give them credit for. Acknowledging kids for what they are aware of empowers them to see the capacities and brilliance they have, and to also acknowledge the contribution they are in the world. Are kids told they are a contribution, or more often than not, are they told over and over that because they are small, they are also helpless, limited, a cost or a liability? Inviting kids to acknowledge what they know is as simple as asking them questions such as “What do you know about this?” “Can you help me?” “What would you like to create?” “Would you be willing to contribute to ____ showing up?” “What do you know that would allow this to show up way easier?” If you were willing to ask kids more questions about what they do know, would that begin to empower them to see themselves as more valuable than being told they can’t possibly know or can’t possibly contribute?
Myth 3: You must protect them from the world “out there” until they are old enough to cope.
This is possibly the biggest disservice you can do to a kid. The only true safety is awareness. When you are willing to be aware of things, you will know what needs to be avoided before it occurs. You will see it coming and know what to choose to create what would work for you and not against you. How do you assist a kid to increase their awareness? Ask questions, and allow them to choose – and be willing for them to choose something even if it’s a choice you don’t agree with. The gift of awareness is the greatest gift you can allow yourself and others. Choice creates awareness. Invite kids to tap into what they know about what their choices will create by asking more questions. For example, if they are looking at something they would like to do, ask them “If you choose this, what will it create? If you don’t choose this, what will that create?” and allow them to get a sense of what each choice will create in their world. Then, allow them to choose. Unfortunately, you can’t give someone an awareness, they can only create it for themselves – which is why giving advice, lectures and trying to get kids to learn from your mistakes never, ever works!
Most importantly, unless you are willing to empower yourself, you cannot hope to empower kids. What if you, empowering you, was the invitation and the change that every kid you care about truly requires?
If you are interested in accessing different possibilities with kids, you can visit Access Consciousness.