Being You

Are You Willing to Be a Loser?

August 31, 2014

Most of us would do anything rather than be seen as a loser. That word has such an intense connotation to it. “Hey loser!” Doesn’t that make you shudder? Who would choose that? Well, if you’re interested in creating more in your life, you might just consider embracing being a loser!

We tend to think about loss in general as a bad thing. Maybe you lost most of your money in the stock market, or perhaps a friend or partner died and you lost your lover and best friend. You hear about people losing their jobs, losing their mobility as they age or after an accident, or losing hope. What’s intriguing is that we rarely hear about people losing the things that create their restrictions. What about “I’ve lost my depression, or I’ve lost my poverty, or I’ve lost my loneliness?” In these and similar cases most people refer to what they have gained: “I’m happy now, I’ve gotten a good paying job, I’ve found new friends.”

This is more than semantics. It reflects deeply held beliefs that losing is bad and gaining is good. The only “positive” thing you do hear people refer to losing is weight. And have you noticed how difficult that is for most people? If gain is good and losing is bad, how much do people have to fight against their belief systems to embrace losing weight?

If you sincerely regard losing as a bad thing, then you lock in place many of the conclusions, convictions, obstructions and blocks that prevent you from actually creating the life you know you could have but haven’t been able to actualize.

What would it be like if you were willing to lose all your limitations? What about all of your points of view? Are you willing to lose those? Would you be willing to lose all of the significance you placed on the abusive childhood you had, or on the traumatic divorce? What about losing your anger or what you believe are your fears? How many things have you locked into place because you are unwilling to be a loser? Have you become a packrat of limitations? What are you holding onto that if you would let it go would give you a freedom beyond anything you’ve ever imagined?

Sometimes people get a glimpse of the baggage they are carrying and are willing to let it go, only to grab onto it again the next day. This is something like taking the trash out then running out in the morning to make sure you can beat the garbage man and reclaim it all. Many people are very comfortable with and fond of their limitations. Having them gives them a sense of security. Do you see yourself in any of that? If so, you’re not alone!

Here’s another way of looking at this. What if what we call loss is just change? What if we never expected anything to stay the same? There’s a bit of brilliance in this choice, since everything is always changing with or without our permission! Consider a flower. First it is a small bud. It then begins to open to become a full flower. Notice that as it becomes a flower it LOSES being a bud. After awhile the flower begins to wilt. It changes again from what it was. Some would day that at this point it LOSES it’s beauty. Is that true, or is that a judgment? Would you like the flower to always be in full bloom? That’s called a plastic flower. Have you seen many of those in cemeteries? Really attractive aren’t they?

When we are willing to take the charge our of the words loss, losing and looser, and become aware that we are simply talking about change, life becomes easier. This may seem like a small thing but it’s actually about shifting to a very different paradigm. When you are truly willing to be a loser, without a point of view, you remove much of what is sticking you with not being able to move forward. The past can be appreciated for what it contributed to us, but we don’t have to live there. We can be present in our lives, and free to create whatever changes we desire.



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