Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? What if it’s not love you’re really looking for at all?

“What if ‘love’ is a societal programming designed to make sure that what you know should be possible as unconditional love (love with no judgment of right, wrong, good, bad, or anything else) never shows up?” asks Dr. Dain Heer, author of Being You, Changing the World and co-author of Sex Is Not A Four Letter Word But Relationships Often Times Is.

The result of this societal programming is your constant effort to have it, never succeeding, and judging yourself constantly.

“I knew it should be possible,” Heer recalls. “I always judged myself for all the places in which I couldn’t create it. I kept trying to uphold the ideal of what love is supposed to be, while seeing no one else around me choosing it.”

Love is a program, Heer says, because “it is designed to get you to reach for something outside of you, and it’s not actually possible to create what love is supposed to create through that venue.”

Love is also what Access Consciousness^® has identified as a distractor implant—it’s designed to keep you from ever seeing or having you. It’s an unsolvable problem you’re compelled to solve.

An added trap of the word love is that it has more definitions than just about any word in any language. With that many definitions, how is it possible to have a discussion of any value when you have no idea which definition the person you’re discussing with has in mind in that 10 seconds?

And asking your “lover” isn’t likely to improve communication, because they’ll most likely tell you what they think you want to hear.

It could go like this:

He says: “I love you!” meaning, “If I say I love you then you’ll give me the sex I want.”

She says: “I love you too!” meaning, “Finally someone that’s willing to take care of me like I deserve and I just have to promise him sex to seal the deal!”

Is there anyone over the age of 25 who hasn’t been party to at least one conversation like this?

So you’ve been looking for love, which doesn’t exist on planet earth, while in the midst of a distractor implant specifically designed to keep you from ever getting free of it or having you. Then you talk to people about it, but no two people are ever functioning from the same definition of the word. And they won’t tell the truth about it anyway cause then it will guarantee they don’t get what they want which isn’t gettable anyway. No wonder it’s been such hard work!

There is another way, however. The “love” you’re looking for is possible through being you, says Heer. “What if instead of striving for love you were willing to have gratitude, caring, and no judgment? If you were willing to choose that instead, it would take you out of all the judgments that are attached to that program of love.”

The good news is that each of those things—gratitude, caring and no judgment—is possible to do and be, says Heer.

“Is it possible that the combination of gratitude, caring, and no judgment more closely matches the energy of what you thought you were going to get from love?

“If so, you might just find that you can finally now create what you thought love was going to get you.”

Dain has been presenting “Getting the Sex You Want and the Relationship You Deserve” with Gary Douglas in Houston, TX, June 21-24. You can get the Online replay & MP3 download here.

Access Bars^® and The Foundation are pre-requisites.