• Would you be interested in a way to have more clarity in all your business dealings?
• Would you like to end the disappointments you suffer when arrangements you thought would be great somehow end up going south?
• Would you like to increase your chances of getting exactly what you would like?
There is an “Access Consciousness™ app” for this. Its deceptively simple name is “Deal and Deliver.” Access Consciousness™ Founder and best selling author Gary Douglas takes his usual yet fresh look at how the best laid plans of mice and men go awry, and even better, provides concrete tools you can use to change it.
Difficulties in business interactions of all kinds arise because “most people have no idea what they would like,” says Douglas. “They just believe if they’re kind and nice, people will deliver kind and nice things to them.”
This bit of fantasy does not work because “you’re not willing to see what someone wants to deliver, what they’re going to deliver, and what the deal is for them. The bad news is that you have a godzillion fantasies, which means that you’re not looking at what’s actually going to occur.”
What’s the way out of this fantasy that creates such dysfunction and dissatisfaction in our lives? Douglas has a number of tips:
Get clear on exactly what you need and desire.
“What I see people doing is trying desperately to get people to deliver when they haven’t even explained what they want delivered. You have to get clear yourself before you can be clear what you expect somebody else to deliver and to know what someone else requires, too.”
“Once the person is committed to an exact figure, they can’t come back to me later and say, ‘We didn’t talk about the extra stuff that would need to be done.’
“I always say, ‘Exactly what is this going to cost me? Exactly what are you going to do? Exactly when will you deliver and what do I have to deliver to you in order to make this work?’
“Always ask, ‘Exactly what does this mean to you?’ It’s looking to find out what’s in their head and what they are going to do, instead of assuming they will do it in any way that was like you would do it or assume anyone would do it.”
For example, if you’re a dog walker and you’re hiring someone to walk dogs for you, you might ask questions like, ‘Where will you be walking my dog? What will that look like and how many days a week will you do that?’ That’s being exact.
Look at the person you’re dealing with.
Ask questions like, “Will they deliver what I want? Can they deliver what I want? Am I asking something of them that they cannot deliver?
“I always look at, ‘This is the deal I would like, can this person deliver it?’ If you don’t function from, ‘Can this person deliver?’ then you’re always functioning from, ‘this will work out because you’ve decided you want it to which is the fantasy that you will always get what you want if you say it right, do it right, or confront the person right.’”
Ask the person what your deal looks like to him.
Stating your requirements is not enough. “When you state what you want, all you are doing is assuming the other person is hearing you, which is a mistake.
“Instead of stating what you want, always ask, ‘How do you see this working out?’ Otherwise all they’re going to do is tell you what they think you want to hear.”
Ask for others’ assistance when there’s a difficulty.
Rather than using confrontation, take the position of needing help. “I’m confused. I don’t understand what’s happening. Can you help me with this?” invites the other person to fill in the blanks and contribute. You can only get what their point of view is by asking them to contribute; confrontation cannot get you there. What will work best for you is getting them to the place where they can contribute.
Be especially aware of confusion around money.